What If
by RedneckOtaku
Summary: What if the characters of FMA had a different life then that of the Military, Alchemy and Ishbal. Random oneshots
1. PROLOG

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever or will I ever own Full Metal Alchemist

PROLOG

Ever wonder what it would be like to see what the characters in Full Metal Alchemist would be doing if they weren't in Full Metal Alchemist? Well, I was having a really goofy day, and I thought about it. And just wait until you read what I came up with. Please sit back, keep your hands, legs and automail in the chair at all time. Oh, and alchemy and transmutations are not allowed in the story room, thank you for your corporation. Enjoy the story...

A/N - Please review. on the other chapters and not this one. Thanks. Constructive criticism accepted. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right).

Please look in my profile oo0AnimeChild0oo for all my other stories. I have finished stories, in progress stories and some stories that are forever on going with no end. I also often make request in my profile for help finding information. So please, check out my profile. And again, thanks for reading. 


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever or will I ever own Full Metal Alchemist

What If...

A man in his mid-twenties sat in a large room wearing a red robe and black pants. The room was decorated in a range of different shades of red and blue. The floor was solid wood and the walls were a light mahogany. The ceiling was strangely an off white color. The two large bay windows that were behind the man, were covered by dark blue curtains and red sashes. Around the room were random wooden chairs that were all either dark red or dark blue. A large table sat in the middle of the room. There was nothing on this table strangely. The man, however sat in the only armchair, which was large and red, smoking a Cuban cigar. The fire that was flickering in the fireplace which was in the left wall reflected into the man's eyes. He smiled a smile that would send many woman into spells of giggles and sighs of love. From the door came a knock and some giggles. The man sat up straight and crossed his legs and called out in a sexy voice.

"Come in ladies." And as the door opened, half dozen girls dressed in mini skirts and matching tank tops came dancing in the room. Around their waists were think white belts. Their eye shadow and lipstick was a softer shade, but matched their outfits none the less.

"Hello master." A girl dressed in red with long black hair smiled and she was carrying a tray of grapes and cherries. The man smiled and gave the girl a kiss on the cheek as she gave him one too.

"Master, I bring... gifts." Giggled a girl with long blonde hair. She was wearing a blue outfit and was holding a small container of whipped cream. She giggled as she and her 'master' exchanged kisses on the cheek.

"Good evening my master." Spoke two red headed twins who wear wearing matching yellow outfits. One had long hair and the other short. They giggled each kissed 'master' on the cheek, one girl per cheek. He kissed them back they walked away. The 'master' noticed on the twin's belts, they were carrying soft rope. He smiled.

"Come. come. Don't' be shy." He called out in a sexy tone as the last three girls entered the room, closing the door behind them.

A girl approached in a purple outfit, her long hair was a shade of light brown. She exchanged cheek kisses and moved on giggling, she had two pairs of hand cuffs on her belt. The next two girls, were not twins, but they both had white hair, one girl was in green and the other girl in pink. They giggled and exchanged kisses with 'master'. They were holding a small box each.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies." He said as he stood up and held his arms out. The girls giggled. He looked at each one of them. They were now all holding their gifts in their hands. He smiled his trademark smile and they all sighed and melted into his smile.

"Come my ladies. Show Master Roy what you have brought him." He said as the giggling girls placed all their 'gifts' on the empty table. They surrounded him and wrapped their arms around him. He stood with his arms still out allowing the girls to rub their hands all over him with that smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

I introduce to you the new Playboy Millionaire... Roy Mustang.

A/N - Please review. Constructive criticism accepted. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right). 


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever or will I ever own Full Metal Alchemist

What If...

"We need more sparkle paper!" Yelled a small man as he ran out of the room. Inside the room was a large tube. It was very wide at the top but as it went down, it got very small until is was only as big as a pill bottle. There were smaller pots hanging over the large tube that were full of glitter. There was a small girl with long blond hair standing watching as the men running around her made the room sparkle. She brushed some glitter off her face and walked closer to the large tube.

"How many have we produced so far?" She asked one of the men running by. He was wearing a white hat and matching white overalls. Under the overalls was a black shirt. His hat and overalls were sparkling for he was covered in glitter.

"Only one millions so far ma'am." He said as he ran by and exited the room. The girl sighed and looked down at her dress. It was red and was covered in glitter. Her hair had some glitter in it too. Thus the look of someone who worked in a glitter factory.

"The cap didn't screw down on this bottle." She turned to one of the many belts that was circling the room. Their was a man inspecting the caps on all of the tubes of glitter. She walked over to the belt and grabbed a tube of clear glitter. She smiled and then walked away. The room was very clean for a glitter factory She moved over to another belt and watched as thin sheets of shinny paper was sliced and diced into tiny little dots of glitter. The blades doing the cutting was encased inside a large glass box due to the blades being very sharp. She smiled at the box. Glitter was flying everywhere. Inside the box, connected to the blades were very tiny misting hoses that kept the glitter on the belt. She followed the belt down to where the glitter was pushed over onto the second belt then moved into the small pots over head. She watched one of the pots dump out into the tube below. A third belt was moving under the tube, and it had many little bottles on it. When the bottles went under, they were filled with glitter then they moved on to get capped. Then the bottles fell onto the forth belt were they were inspected, labeled and boxed for delivery.

"Ah, my angel." Came a strong voice from behind the girl. She turned around and was face to face with a big buff man who was bald and shirtless.

"Hey brother." She smiled and they hugged. He was much larger then her, even though their ages were only a few years apart. The man smiled and he was covered in glitter, from his strange orange mustache to his bare chest to his black pants.

"How are productions doing?" He asked.

"Only a million so far." The girl turned to face the room. He put his arm on her shoulder.

"Well, it's getting better day by day my dear." He smiled.

"Mr. Armstrong, boss, sir?" A worker called out.

"Yes Joey, what is it?" MR. Armstrong called.

"We are going to need to order more sparkle paper!" Joey called. The girl looked up at her brother an smiled.

"I'll go make the order brother." She smiled and headed for the office.

"This is my happiest place in the world." Armstrong said to himself. Just then, the radio in the room began playing his favorite song and her began to sing quietly to himself

"If your happy and you know it clap your hands. If your happy and you know it clap your hands..."

I introduce to you the world Most Sparkling Man... Alex Armstrong

A/N - Please review. Constructive criticism accepted. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right). 


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever or will I ever own Full Metal Alchemist

What If...

A large tree stood in the middle of a large field of grass. Through out the field were many black and white cows grazing about. Under the one tree, sat a young boy with long blonde hair. He was playing with a blue yo-yo and chewing on a piece of grain. Above him, sat his younger brother, who also had blonde hair, only his was short and darker. They were both wearing green overalls and had a light farmer's tan. The smaller boy jumped from the tree and stood next to his brother.

"Brother?" The smaller one asked.

"Yeah?" The older one replied and spit out the grain.

"Where's mom at?" The small one asked.

"I believe she said she went to the market to pick up some more bread and fruit." The older one replied and put his yo-yo away. The smaller boy looked out into the distance. He squinted into the sun and smiled. Out by their large white house was a woman waving to them.

"Mom's home!" The boy exclaimed and ran back to his home. The older boy stood up and slowly followed his brother. He walked over the green grass, the blades tickling his bare feet. He smiled. his life couldn't be any better. He was producing his favorite drink, milk, and he had his mom and brother with him. All he wanted now was a girlfriend which would be almost impossible considering no one lived around him and he couldn't leave the farm.

"Dinner will be ready shortly dear!" A woman with long brown hair and a purple dress called out to the older brother and waved.

"Okay mom!" He smiled and called back. He got closer to his home and saw a wagon being pulled by a horse coming up the road. He stopped at the edge of the road and watched as the wagon pulled by. Inside the wagon was a bunch of metal scraps. There was a beautiful young girl with long blond hair walking behind the wagon. She had on a white shirt and black pants. Atop her blonde head was a red bandanna.

"Hello." The boy smiled and said to the girl. She blushed.

"Hello." She smiled and stopped the wagon from walking.

"I've never seen you around these parts before." The boy said as he walked closer.

"I'm just down the hill with my grandmother." The girl smiled.

"Oh, well it's nice to see a new face around her." The boy smiled and the girl did too.

"Dinner!" The boy's mother called through The kitchen window.

"I'll be in in a minute mom!" He called back and turned back to the girl.

"So, are you moving in?" The boy asked looking at the wagon.

"Oh yes, I moved in just last week with my parents. This here are just supplies for my grandmother's business. She owns the towns automail shop." The girl pointed to the wagon then down the hill where a small house could be seen off in a distance.

"Well welcome to town." He said and shook her hand.

"Thank you. You wouldn't happen to be the milk boy would you?" The girl asked looking over at the cows.

"Why yes I am. I can't get enough milk." He smiled.

"Me too. I just love milk. By the way, my name is Winry. Winry Rockbell." She smiled and pulled her arms behind her back.

"Thats such a pretty name. Mine's Edward. Edward Elric, or Ed for short. My younger brother inside, his name is Alphonse, or Al for short." The boy grinned a big grin. The girl looked down the hill and saw an old woman waving up to her.

"Sorry Ed, my grandmother is calling me. Hope to see you again soon. Say hi to your mom and brother for me." She waved and pushed the wagon, moving the horse again. She yet again walked behind it.

"By Winry, hope to see you soon too." Ed called out waving. He then ran inside to eat and tell his mom about the girl he just met.

I introduce to you the Most Successful Milk Farmers... Edward and Alphonse Elric

A/N - Please review. Constructive criticism accepted. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right). 


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever or will I ever own Full Metal Alchemist

What If...

A seventeen year old blonde haired girl walked into her family's living room looking for her father. She was smiling big, she knew how to get what she wanted. She walked into the main hallway and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her long blonde hair was up in pig tails and she was wearing the cutest of all outfits. A pink tee-shirt that said 'Cute' and blue jeans with glitter adorned her body as a white sweatshirt was wrapped around her waist. She then began to make a puppy face in the mirror.

"Perfect." She smiled and continued her hunt. She looked in the kitchen then headed upstairs. She looked around every corner.

"Daddy. Where are you?" She called out in a cute voice.

"I'm in the library sweetie." Called her father. The girl smiled and headed down the hallway for the library. She pushed open the door and scanned the room. When she found her aging father sitting at the desk reading a book and put on her puppy face and approached him. The man was starting to go bald but traces of black hair could be seen. He had a pair of small glasses perched on his nose to aid in reading.

"Daddy." He girl said in a very cute voice. He looked up and smiled at the sight of his oldest daughter.

"Yes pumpkin?" He smiled and closed his book.

"There is this party this weekend at my best friend's house and I don't have anyway of getting there." She pouted.

"Do you need daddy to drive you." He asked.

"Well, I was hoping you could help me get in with the popular kids and...buy me a car." She pouted more. The man thought about it, he closed his eyes.

"Well..." He looked down at her.

"Please, daddy. I'll love you forever and ever." She looked down and moved her eyes up to look at him. She pulled off the cute puppy look perfectly. Her father melted.

"Okay. Let me grab my keys and I'll go car shopping with you. okay Princess." He smiled as she smiled.

"Thank you daddy." She hugged him and ran downstairs to wait for him.

"Daddy, I thought I was your princess?" A little girl with auburn hair came walking into the room wearing a pink dress. Her hair was up in a pony tail. She was holding a teddy bear and couldn't be any older then five.

"You are my little princess Jessica. But your older sister Elicia is also my princess. You are all my princesses and princes." He smiled and kissed the girl on the cheek and put her down. He walked from the room and was approached by a boy with short blonde hair and a girl with long blonde hair. They were wearing matching purple shirts. They were twins of only ten years of age.

"Daddy." They said in unison.

"Whaty." He smiled.

"Can you buy me a teddy bear?" The girl asked.

"And me a new toy truck?" The boy asked. The dad smiled.

"Okay. Any specific kind?" He looked down at them.

"I was a big teddy wear with a pink bow on his head." The girl smiled.

"I want a red trunks that runs on batteries." The boy said with a big, missing front tooth grin.

"Okay." He said and headed downstairs.

"Hunny." A woman with short auburn hair came walking out of the kitchen holding a small bald baby, maybe six months old.

"Yes Gracia my angle?" He walked to hr and kissed her.

"While your out with Elicia, can you pick you JR. here a new play pen. The other one broke." She smiled while bouncing the baby in her arms.

"Okay dear, and while I'm out, I'll see if I can find my angel something special." He kissed her and headed out the door.

"Hey Maes." Called an old man from next door.

"Hello George." The father called back.

"Going shopping again?" George asked.

"Yup, got to keep my lovely family happy." The father replied with a smile.

I introduce to you the new Father of the Year... Maes Hughes.

A/N - Please review. Constructive criticism accepted. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right). 


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever or will I ever own Full Metal Alchemist or 'You Can't Do That' By KT Oslen.

What If...

A girl with long flowing blond hair spun around in front off her full length mirror. Her body was beautifully small in size and the outfits she wore really showed that. At the moment she was wearing a short tight red skirt. A matching halter top fit tightly around her body. It was strapless and metallic almost. A transparent red cape-like thing flowed out behind her and went down to about her knees. The skirt and top had a slight glimmer to it as she spun under her dressing room lights. A pair of red heels sat on the floor next to the mirror. An older woman approached the girl and began to cover her bust.

"What now Elizabeth?" The girl questioned kindly as she was motioned to sit down.

"Just your make-up dear." The lady smiled and started to apply make-up.

"No, I don't want it. It makes me look fake. Just a light lipstick and gloss will do. Maybe something light over my eyes. But that is all." She smiled as the lady applied a light pink lipstick and then a shinny gloss. On her eyes was applied a light pink eye shadow, just enough to emphasize her golden eyes.

"Your on in five." A man called into the dressing room as the girl began to put on her tiny red heels. She did one finally spin in front of the mirror and smiled a big bright white smile.

"I look so pretty. I'm so glad I took this job." She smiled and did another spin. He then walked out of her room and onto the large stage. A microphone stand was standing at the end. The stage was shinny and had small spot lights around the edge. As she took the stage, everyone cheered. He grabbed the microphone off the stand and backed up, holding the wire in her other hand. As she began to sing, her loving audience sang along.

"No, no you can't do that." She walked around the stage, the lights shinning on her just enough to bring out her true beauty.

"They don't read the constitution, down there where I work. My boss thinks he's a Romeo...I think he's a jerk." She bent down slightly and played into the song with a flip of her hair. She stood back up and continued to walk around.

"He's always making passes, he's got hands in back of his head. He'd love to see me naked. LORD I'd love to see him dead!" She formed the hand holding the wire into a gun and acted like she fired it off, then she winked.

"No, no, you can't do that." She finished her song and bowed. Everyone cheered.

"RIZA! RIZA!"

"I love you Riza!"

"Go Riza. Sing it girl!"

Riza smiled at her adoring fans and bowed again. She loved the attention. And she loves her job.

I introduce to you Singing Sensation... Riza Hawkeye

A/N - I only used pieces of the song, thus the reason it seamed short. Please review. Constructive criticism accepted. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right). 


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